saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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