i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize