mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
