Already got asked if we're dating
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize