even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
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