so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
