I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Randomize
