i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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