I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
