she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
