it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
