Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
