I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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