Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize