I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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