Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
We left an ass print on the piano.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize