I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
