i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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