so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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