The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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