All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
