Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
