I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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