he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
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