I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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