you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
