You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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