She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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