whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
