Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
