apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
