Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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