I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
