And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
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I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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