I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
