Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
