I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i just had sex bonerless
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
