You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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