She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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