And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
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