Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
