also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
