Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
