atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Is Oprah even human
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
