Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
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