If that was your dad, he is hot
Your mouth is God's brothel.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
MIDGETS
????
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
