in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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