We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
