Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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