one word: firstdatebathroomanal
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
It's just like the Real World with babies
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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