Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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