I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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