Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I take back everything I said about communal showers
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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