Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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