Kiss
Puke
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
