NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
