walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
