i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
