My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
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