nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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