In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
