its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
