Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
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