she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
