okay pat passed out under dana's car
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
