I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
