i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize