glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
