dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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